Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
