I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
