fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
