OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
