he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
