I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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