dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
