I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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