I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
