from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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