i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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