i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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