I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
