I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
