I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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