i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
be right there i have to get my cape
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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