did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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