saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
