First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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