i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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