THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
