WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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