Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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