So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
