Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
