dude i'm inner monologue high
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
