I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
