I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Houston, we have a blender
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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