I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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