he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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