New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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