Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
