So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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