Sry I called you an 8
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he puts the penis in happiness.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
