Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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