Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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