her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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