Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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