your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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