the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You've changed since you got that strap on
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
