drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
