honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
