dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize