i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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