i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
