You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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