Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
