Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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