Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
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It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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