I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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