im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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