I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
