they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize