Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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