I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize