Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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