it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
